I wonder....what can I do before I not myself

I am using handphone to write this (i duno i nid write how long...)~ About Hari Terbuka tat day...Also from tat day...i feel i'm nt the oringinal ChowSee...anymore...whole person feel stress... "God..can you lead me how to go my life?"... Be a good guy....very complicated..liked a girl will automaticly shy up....haha common sense i think...but still...i tot...i choose "Good Guy" this road will better than being a junk kid~ I think is worse lar!! Why? I dunno why parents dun believe thier children! I really dunno why lar~ 1st...teck meng...he's holdin my sis handphone...tat time my sis worrying will our Puan Koo say abt her n jm d things out? Some ppl will say Yes~ bt i only the one said wont~ coz teacher nt sure u 2 are couple so she wnt simply 误赖 us de~ then i look at my sis handphone (wow so many files~ haha) within 2mins a message came~ hu named "Mei Xin"~ i accidently saw a part of tat message...it said "one of ur "good fren" named CS..then wad de~ after tat i stand up...and said "i wan go d bb"~ tat time i was thinkin... "either her dad or her mom or her parents tot i was her bf?"...wad the...speechless...juz like last time my sis mom tot i was her bf too...Am I so easy be a girl d bf o? Haiz...i think she sure kena scold chamcham by her parents liao lor...kesian...i hope she's all right.... In tat night...is my turn..i duno when he go steal my handphone n watch my sms...shit...he scolded my name n i go over thr n see lor....hu knws i kena a same prob wif her.....walao he tot she was my gf!! Great...u wan scold then scold lor....(i only can say till here, coz i dun u worry so much...i wan u have a nice life nt terror life...so forgv me nt tellin u....i really wan to say bt..."if i said...i scare u cry again"...pls lar i really sad when i heard tat u cried...pls don let me sad.....我宁愿我自己痛苦，都不想你再流任何眼泪出来....